How to Be a Facilitative Manager
Are you a facilitative manager? Most of us would say we are, or at least would like to think we are. But being a facilitative manager isn’t just an attitude. It’s also a set of behaviors, and perhaps the most important is giving up control.
What does that mean day to day? It means that in your conversations with your direct reports and others, you facilitate true two-way dialogue rather than leading or controlling the conversation. As leaders, we have a natural tendency to control events, especially meetings. But that behavior can actually bring about the opposite result from the one you want.
For example, one manager we worked with told us that he was very facilitative and invited us to one of his team meetings to show us. On the first agenda item, he announced, “"I'd like to get your ideas on this problem. I have some ideas of my own, but what do you think?"
That kind of announcement isn’t likely to engender many ideas from direct reports, and in this case it didn’t. We understand the temptation to say “I have some ideas of my own, but what do you think?” – doing so can make it sound like you’re working just as hard on the problem as they are – but the team is more likely to think you’ve already made up your mind and that their participation is pointless.
When we coached the manager later, he was unaware of what he had done. Being a truly facilitative manager can mean undoing some bad habits.
So, Rule 1: Don’t just open the floor to new ideas. You should also sit tight on your own ideas until everyone else has contributed, even the team members who seldom speak up at meetings. Your team members know you probably have your own ideas, but bringing that fact up right off the bat is more likely to hurt than help. And there's no advantage in demonstrating to your associates how smart you are at the expense of their involvement and engagement.
This approach isn’t just for meetings, so here’s Rule 2: Use this style in every interaction with your associates, whether in person or remote. It should be your default means of engaging with other people. That means not just telling direct reports what to do, but also engaging with their ideas, feedback, and suggestions and asking the kinds of questions that may lead them to your own idea, or an even better one, on their own.
Here are some more ideas for becoming a more facilitative manager:
Use a questioning style in your meetings and conversations. If you find yourself telling others your ideas before you have heard theirs, remind yourself to hang back and just listen.
Ask open-ended questions, rather than closed-ended ones. (Closed-ended questions frequently can be answered with “yes” or “no” or with a specific piece of data.) Answers to open-ended questions are more likely to contain more information and to suggest avenues for additional questioning to dig even deeper if you need to, while closed-ended questions tend to stifle dialogue.) If you’re not sure of the difference, here are two examples:
Closed-ended question: Did you share this information with the team?
Open-ended question: When you shared this information with the team, how did they react?
Closed-ended question: How many people came to the company holiday party?
Open-ended questions: Tell me what the atmosphere at the company holiday party was like.
Remember, your role is to add structure to meetings, but not to control the outcome. Obviously if the meeting gets off track you should help the team get back on track where necessary. But try to avoid taking direct control when you can. Too much control in the hands of the team leader (or a single team member) can be unproductive.
Don’t immediately challenge any idea. Where you need to, it’s fine to ask for clarification and examples when group members suggest ideas. There will be plenty of time later to challenge ideas where needed.
Pay attention to the process and who is not participating. Make it a point to bring the less outspoken people into the discussion.
Frequently paraphrase back to the group what you are hearing. Especially note movement toward consensus when you think you hear it. Then test your observation by asking the group if they are close to a decision, or closer than they were before. (If you want to phrase that question as open-ended, you might ask: “How close do y’all think you are to a decision (or to consensus) at this point?”)
Keep in mind that as the leader you can always add your ideas at the end of the discussion. You’ll probably find as you wait to do so that your ideas will be greatly influenced by what you hear first from others using your facilitative style. And that’s fine!
So, the next time you have a business conversation with your team or with a direct report, or another leader does, take note of where you or they ask closed-ended questions and think about how you might have turned them into open-ended questions. That way, the next time you need to ask those questions, you can do so.
Instead of asking questions like, “Don’t you think that …?” or “Isn’t it true that …?,” ask such questions as, “What are your ideas on …?” or “How do you see this issue?” If you catch yourself asking a closed-ended question, back up and rephrase it as an open-ended one. You’ll find that you get more participation and engagement from your associates, and you’re more likely to benefit from hearing their very best thinking, rather than what they think you want to hear.
If that were the result of every business meeting or conversation you had, how much more efficient, profitable, and even fun would your work be?
